Babe, be a hero.

I have many thoughts on many things.

But one that I keep coming back to is that both in my personal life and in my “professional” life I am constantly amazed by how many people when presented the opportunity to do the right thing or stand up for someone in need, just don’t.

We live with a lot of cowardice. Maybe that’s being unwilling to be in situations that are outside of your comfort zone in your personal life. Maybe it’s telling that co-worker the “joke” they just told is not okay. Maybe it’s being honest with yourself about your defaults. Maybe it’s communicating to the person you are in a relationship with that you no longer want to be in that relationship instead of starting an affair. The opportunity to give into fear or complacently is ever abundant. But so is the opportunity to do the right thing. Right? Today matters, and if we try and grow just a little bit each day. If we say, “yeah I didn’t live as my most awesome self yesterday so today I chose to do better.” GREAT!

When I was in “professional activism” circles I was amazed by how unwilling some people are to actually do “the work.” Sure, I’ll look cute and pose with a sign or repost something on social media, but make actionable progress? Ew, effort.

Be it because I was homeschooled and never learned social skills, or that I am just very intense about injustice (in all cases) I have a very hard time staying silence when someone is suffering. I think a lot of us, believe that we wouldn’t intentionally cause another person harm. We all want to believe we are the heroes.

But, what I found is that a lot of people when actually presented with the opportunity to make change, choose fear.

For example, when I was working in “professional activism” spaces there was a case where a very big name in the community did something extremely unethical and actively caused another person harm solely out of spite. It was public. It was evident. But so many of these people who claimed to be feminists, claimed to be “pro-life” not only sat by silently but told those of us who were asking for accountability and standing with the victim, to be quiet. Don’t cause waves. Wouldn’t want to lose donors. Don’t make it look like there is infighting. That unwillingness to be uncomfortable and stand on your values means that the bullies win. The victims are made to feel like no one cares, and the status quo goes unchanged. We chose our own comfort instead of self-sacrifice.

The reason I left those spaces was the hypocrisy. I said if anyone claimed to be “pro-life” but actively promoted or platformed policies that made it harder to parent or be pregnant (especially in poverty) I wouldn’t work with them. I wouldn’t work with or promote white supremacists who used their platform to sow division and hate instead of asking for compassion and dialogue. I feel like that is a low bar, and not only was I disagreed with, I was told I was in the wrong.

So, why? Why on this random day in June is all of this on my mind? Because we are actively seeing how just standing by in the face of injustice causes massive harm. Sometimes damage that cannot be undone. You don’t need to understand all of the intricacies of the Palestine situation to know that withholding/ blocking aid so that people (and children) die, is wrong. You don’t have to have opinions on the legitimacy of Israel as a country to say that the actions of their leaders are horrific.

Also, we are seeing the Big Beautiful Bill coming. I am not sure about you, but I have people I love who have already been affected by the cuts of this administration. Chronically ill people who suddenly can’t afford medicine. Friends who can’t afford groceries. State health insurance being cut. I wasn’t happy with the last administration either, for anyone who wants to hit me with a “well what about…”

And look, if for some reason you don’t want governmental programs to provide this help, fine. So where is it going to come from? Are you donating to soup kitchens, are you finding housing options for young mothers, are you providing job training to those in DV shelters, are you offering to pay your neighbor’s rent? What does your church or company do? Cuz if we all just wait around for someone else to help or someone else to do the right thing, people are going to suffer and die just so we can stay comfortable or “not cause waves.” And really, seeing as this bill increases the deficit and gives major tax breaks to people who don’t need them. Why? I want my tax dollars to help people not throw military parades and fund golf.

I’ve been unable to afford groceries and had co-workers cover it for me, I’ve been homeless and had to rely on the support of friends and family, I wasn’t provided parental leave and my mom’s friend sent me a check for my rent, I’ve been in a domestic violence situation I had to leave with only $14 to my name, my son was born on Medicaid without which it would have cost me $$$ just to have him.

So many times I have had to rely on others to do the right thing because those in power (be that personal or organizational) were not going to do the right thing.

If staying silent means people will die, be the hero.