Difference between Snow White and Sleeping Beauty’s Prince

One just showed up afterwards and kissed her and had to do nothing else. It reminds me of how often I’ve been like, in making a child the man is present for a few minutes and then the one with the uterus is forever changed and creates a human life. Minimal effort. 

But Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty) has to fight a dragon, and while I am partial to slaying my own dragons, I have to say I prefer a partner who is willing to do the hard thing and not just show up once the hard thing is done.  

When I was young (like 4) I used to dress up in a red coat and sing, “Once Upon a Dream.” Maybe that set my misconceptions of love. Idk. With one of my previous partners, it really seemed like it was the stuff of dreams, and it turns out to be an apt description because it wasn’t real. 

But it was love at first sight in all the senses of the word. Within 5 minutes of talking to him I was like, “I want to marry this man.” I had young family members refer to him as my prince. Because obviously he was. 

But anytime a dragon came, be it unemployment, a flee infestation, moving, or me needing help when I was 8 months pregnant and we had a toddler, he never slayed the dragon. In fact, he’d often invent more. Every time security or normalcy was in my grasp he would yank it away. So my mind went into a dream state. I was in survival mode for years of my life because the crushing reality was too much. 

It didn’t matter what terrible things he would say to me. How much he would burden me with. How much of our money he would spend but burrate me for small purchases. I was stuck. I had to make it work. For over a year I was looking into leaving. I googled various things. Searched for resources. But the truth is, I didn’t leave until I had to and even then I was really fleeing. Fleeing and leaving are not the same. It didn’t feel active because I had not listened to myself so many times. But eventually, I did leave and even though I thought about it a few times, I didn’t go back. 

So many people want to see themselves as the hero and when it comes time. When the dragon is in front of them, they don’t measure up. I’ve had a few men in my life who want so badly to be the hero, but when it comes down to what the reality of that situation looks like… they are gone in a puff of smoke. 

There is a line from an old Nancy Drew game that goes something like, “you don’t want a knight in shining armor. You want one who has been scratched and dirtied in battle.” 

That shining armor can be pretty blinding. So be careful.