“Where is the Poop, Robin?”
In an episode of how I met your mother the following joke is explained:
Robin is hiding something from Lilly. Lilly seems to instinctively know something is wrong and so asks, “where’s the poop, Robin?”
Robin asks what she is talking about and Lilly explains that she had a dog that when it pooped in the house it would make the same face that Robin was making. So thus, “Where’s the poop” translates to: “Spill it, girl.”
Back in college my best friend and I bonded over using How I Met Your Mother quotes as a second language. Our unique lexicon had many running jokes as the semester got further and further out of reach from our sanity. One of the things I still remember is when we would turn to each other and say, “Where’s the poop?” It was the “I know you did something that you shouldn’t have” reality check. But also, an invitation into a safe space to talk about it. “You’ve got yourself into a problem, let’s figure out how to fix it.”
Find your ‘where’s the poop?’ Friends. Who hasn’t sat across from someone over coffee or had the WTF moment over messenger when you know your friend is about to/ just has made a terrible mistake? Who hasn’t broken up with someone only to have everyone you know say, “oh yeah that person was terrible to you” after the fact and been like, “well you could have saved me 6 months, thanks alot.” We need people who care about us enough to call us into a moment of reality checking.
You need those friends who you can say, “take my phone and keys and do not let me near him!” For in moments of weakness and darkness we need people who care about us enough to not let us destroy ourselves and who knows us well enough to know when to say, “where’s the poop?’
When I was in my early 20s I realized that the idea of a “best friend” may not be what the movies and tv shows pitched. That one person can’t meet all your needs. Different people can fill different roles and it’s good to have a support network. I worked hard on individual relationships. I had my movie buddies. My coffee date friends. And my ‘Oh my god I hate the world lets go light something on fire’ friends. I still do, though the relationships look so different now that I near the end of my 20s.
But I have those friends I can text and say, “stop me from making a big mistake” and I have those friends who I know I can text when there is metaphorical poop.
Signed, The Patron Saint of Stupid
